88

There are a bunch of Psalms that are depressing. They call out to God and cry for help. And the Psalmist almost always ends with a "but." Like, "but You, Oh Lord are my strength" or "but You, Lord, have rescued me." Except one. (< I'll come back to that. Promise.)

I've learned a lot working with middle and high school students over the last few years. They surprise and impress me over and over again. And I don't want to overlook that. But at the same time, I'm shocked by the darkness that they have to live in. Go to school in. Share a roof with.

When I say "darkness," whatever it is you're thinking that could be darkness for a 13-year-old kid, it's worse. It's alcohol or drugs winning the battle between addiction and taking care of your kids. It's depression so deep it seems like death is a viable way out. It's things you think only happen in other countries or really terrible movies you wouldn't watch with your parents. It's material poverty in your backyard.

And it's overwhelming. And yes, I know that God is there and He is big and He is good. I know that He is in control and can take care of every student that I wish had a better - or at least a normal - life. But I think sometimes, it's okay to just be overwhelmed. Or at least I hope it is. Because I just admitted it in a public forum.

Psalm 88 is the one Psalm that doesn't end with a "but God." It starts this way:

Lord, you are the God who saves me;
    day and night I cry out to you.

The Psalmist is "overwhelmed with trouble" and "in darkest depths." And the Psalm doesn't end happily. Instead the final words:

Darkness is my closest friend. 

Yes, I trust that God is the God who saves me. Who saves everyone. And cares for them.
But there is also darkness. And it will not be forgotten.