made up.

I hate to admit this, but I started wearing make-up my senior year of college because of a boy. He didn't beat around the bush. He told me that I should, in fact, wear some make-up. It was my Christmas gift from him to get a make-over. He didn't love my jeans/t-shirt/flip-flop style, and the girls that were in his group of friends didn't understand (and probably still don't) why he was dating this fashion-crisis instead of dating them.

We broke up almost 5 years ago and I still wear make-up. But not today. Today I was in a hurry and rolled out of the house in the most comfortable shirt and jeans that I could get away with and still be "professional" enough to be at work. Hair twisted up. And no make-up.

I don't know how this happens, but I have fairly constantly found myself being friends with "the pretty girl." They would all say something along the lines of "oh! but, Michelle! you're pretty too!" but let's get some things straight.

1) Guys don't do double takes when I walk by. Unless I've fallen down clumsily. Or am laughing loudly. (it's been known to happen on occasion)
2) Exactly 2 guys have asked me out. In my whole life. And it wasn't my looks that drew them in. For one, it was that we had been friends for a long time and I wasn't crazy, and for the other that I was a fan of the same sports teams and really sarcastic.
3) I'm a realist. I don't think I'm ugly. Really, I'm okay with just being average. 

It's been a battle to realize that last one. And it's not that I'm some saint and have somehow conquered the desire to be "the pretty girl."

Every girl wants to hear that she is beautiful.
(and NOT just from her female friends who are well-meaning, but not always truthful.)

But if I'm being real with myself, I don't want to be beautiful because of how I look.
I would rather be noticed for
loving kids
being a good friend
following Jesus
doing something well at my job
having a good sense of humor
or showing compassion for the hurting.

And yeah, sometimes, I'm about as good at those things as I am at putting on make-up. (Have I mentioned that I'm really clueless when it comes to wearing make-up? Because I totally am.)

But I think I'll practice perfecting those qualities instead of mascara.
(and mascara is just straight up gross to put on.)