"I'm Sorry" Flowers

There's some pithy phrase about diamonds are a girl's best friend that everyone knows. There should be something about flowers too. Maybe it's just me, but I'm not sure I've ever received a bouquet of flowers I loved from a significant other.

Stalker Flowers - I was 15 and a guy from the youth group I went to decided that I was to be the object of his affection. He stopped by my house on his bike (impressive because I lived like 5 miles from him up a hill on the busiest road in town) and sent me flowers. I might have let them die... or hurried the process. After all, I was 15. And not. interested.

Valentine's Day Flowers - In college, the post office would send you a fantastic email if you got mail or some kind of package. As you can imagine, at a Christian college where everyone is trying to find Mr. or Mrs. Right, Valentine's Day was one of the busiest days. I got an email that said "You've got flowers!" I was initially pretty excited... I couldn't even believe my boyfriend who didn't celebrate anything remembered Valentine's Day. I got to the post office to pick up my flowerS (emphasis on the "s" on purpose) and I get... a single rose. No card. Nothing personal. It was a flower he bought from some organization for a buck. Dear Valentine's Day, thanks for setting us up for disappointment.

No Flowers - For over 2 years of my most recent relationship, I didn't receive any flowers. None. Not even a wildflower. Or a dandelion. This might seem like it goes against everything I just wrote, but I got flowers on my first Valentine's Day and then never again. Don't start with flowers when you're trying to "woo" a girl and then never touch them again.

I'm Sorry Flowers - That same relationship I received about 4 EXPENSIVE bouquets of flowers to say "I'm Sorry." In rapid succession. Like. 2 weeks. Holy. Crap. Having never received any other flowers, these flowers only served to make me upset.

Do you see why I might hate flowers? Take note, gentleman, looking to hook a lady up with flowers. The only flowers I did NOT mention that I have NEVER received.... Random-Tuesday-Flowers. Yeah. Flowers for no reason at all except I was just thinking about you... even if you pick wild flowers... unbelievable. Any woman would melt at your extremely-thoughtful feet. Just trust me. ~*