okay.

So my mom's birthday is tomorrow. I want to write a lovely post about how great she is and how she's made a huge impact on my life and I'm forever grateful.

But - by no fault of my mom - I can't.
I'm exhausted.

I don't know if it's just been a long week. Or if it's a full moon. Or if I'm not sleeping enough. Or sleeping too much. Or not eating the right things. Regardless.
I
am
tired.

I feel like I've said this to a lot of people, but I hope against hope that it's true: It's okay to not be okay.

When someone shares their heart with me and I hug them or cry with them, one of the first things they say is almost always, "it's okay." No. Clearly your sobs and brokenness tell me that it is not, in fact, okay.

And it doesn't have to be.

I hold firm to the belief that I serve a God that is big enough for me to not be okay sometimes. For me to question where His goodness is in broken lives, accidents, cancer, death, and terrible parenting. He's big enough to handle when I've been upset, thinking that He should show up and answer my prayers sooner or in a different way than He is.

I don't have a good reason for being so off this week. I don't even have a bad reason for feeling this way. I just do. Do you have weeks like that? I hope so. Otherwise this blog makes no sense.

Also - I love my mom. I'll write a nice post about her tomorrow.