even if it stays broken.

I grew up going to church. I went to Christian school my whole life. Then to a Christian college. Now I say that I "work for Jesus" because I'm at a Christian radio station. If you look up the phrase "Christian Bubble" my life story is there. Seriously. I'll wait while you look.

That said, sometimes I feel like I've "heard it all" before. Countless pastors, conferences and professors' lectures will do that to you. So I love when a pastor can bring a story to life in a completely different way. The pieces have always been there, I just never noticed them.

This weekend it was the story of Mary, Martha and Lazarus. John 11. The book that houses the most known verse in the Bible and the shortest verse in the Bible. The pastor highlighted verses 21-25. Jesus had heard Lazarus, his friend, was sick and waited 2 days before coming to see him. Martha, the now-dead man's sister ran out to meet Jesus and give him a piece of her mind.

Martha said, "Master, if you'd been here, my brother wouldn't have died. Even now, I know that whatever you ask God He will give you." 

Jesus said, "Your brother will be raised up." 

Martha replied, "I know that he will be raised up in the resurrection at the end of time."

"You don't have to wait for the end. I am, right now, resurrection and life."
[the Message]

The pastor asked us if we could turn the corner with the grieving Martha and believe that Jesus was the One who could bring dead things to life. And if we could turn the things in our lives that seem hopeless and dead over to the One who is Resurrection. And Life.

I thought of kids, who's parents are dead or dying or abusive or on drugs or just neglectful.
I thought of my own grandmother who's aging body is quitting on her even as I write this.
I thought of friends whose broken hearts continue to keep them from seeing the awesome life that God has to offer.
I thought of myself and the mess that I've made of my own life, believing that God can use my brokenness, but still unable to forgive myself for making mistakes in the first place.

But in hopelessness and feeling like maybe nothing will be fixed in the time that I can see it, God is good. And He's still the answer that I've been looking for. He's the hope that I'm clinging onto. This "Jesus-thing"... not only do I believe it, I also know it works.

This God that I serve - He's big.
And I trust Him.
Even if things stay broken.