trust. part deux.

I'm naturally an open book. Stuff that normal people guard about themselves, I don't. I fail at things. At relationships. At ministry. At being a good Christ-follower. I'm not afraid to let you see what I'm not good at.

But it doesn't mean I trust you.

Trust for me is letting you see the person that's behind the character I want everyone else to see. The one that's beyond squeamish about slugs. The one that jumps a little bit at loud noises for  no good reason. It's when I call you to talk... or text you... just because I need to talk to someone, and I want it to be you. Trust is me letting you see that I might be a little... or a lot... needy. It's telling you how I feel about you when I really start to care about you beyond what I normally invest in people.

and I'm not always good at that.

At church this weekend our pastor said, "We spend a lot of time trying to figure out if we can trust people or not. And everyone else in the world... is doing that to you too."

I think we are built to find people that we can trust. It's fairly terrifying, but I read a surprisingly poignant article on a usually surfacey women's blog that struck me. Being vulnerable is really the smartest thing we can do, especially in relationships. Because if you are putting on a character for someone and they fall in love with your character then you spend the rest of your life being fake. Instead of being who you are. And doing life with someone who knows you... really knows you.

But it's a pretty scary ride to get there.
And no one ever wants to get hurt.
Is it worth it?

I hope so.