That stupid "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never
hurt me" phrase is dumb. Whoever first said that is just. plain. wrong.
I have a ton of work to get done today. And I can't focus on any of it. My stomach is in knots and I can't shake this awful anxious feeling out of my brain.
I don't know if you've ever sent a complaint email or phone call or anything to a company. I haven't. And here's why. At my job, I get to deal with those. Not all of them, and I credit my supervisors for being significantly better wordsmiths that I have ever been and ever will be, but enough of them to unsettle my stomach.
Complaints about free things.
Complaints about something I'm trying to do for a specific in-need group in our community.
Complaints about me. Something I've said or done. Or not said. Or not done.
Those last ones are the ones that get to me. I've gotten one positive facebook message and I get a few compliments here and there as comments on my facebook page over the last 5 years or so. And I read them. All of the comments I ever get. Unfortunately, I can't help but read the complaint emails louder. Remember them longer. Take them more personally.
Today that's what's on my mind the most. An impossible, no-win situation that I don't know how to handle. I have used what I thought was grace and truth and ended up feeling like no matter what I say it will be used against me. I feel trapped and unable to put together a sentence that communicates my heart, which is that I want the best for this person. (And yes. I have tried just saying that.)
I was hoping writing this out would help. It hasn't.
Instead, I'm going to take away from this that I need to be more careful about what I say. I'm terrible at that and always have been. I don't want to cause this awful, anxious feeling to anyone else ever. I probably will because I'm an idiot sometimes. But I want it to be less times than before.
Yet another thing that SUPER SUCKS about being in ministry =^(
ReplyDeleteRemember that if you are obeying God, God will defend you. Don't ever doubt that.
Michelle, I will be praying for you this week for a supernatural mental/emotional cleansing and rejuvenation.
YOU, my dear, are a ray of sunshine.
We all say things that we think are just fine, and there's always someone to take it wrong, or out of context, or just someone looking for drama. :( At the same time we can all do better at this, I definitely know I can.
ReplyDelete*hugs* Here's to hoping your day gets better and the situation gets worked out peacefully, and soon! :) His grace is still sufficient.
Michelle,
ReplyDeleteIt's tough.. I work in a customer service industry so I totally understand how you feel.. those complaints always stand out (and sadly in my profession the complements are very few, very few no one ever emails or calls to be grateful [Sadly in my profession its a double wammy because even my employees - I am a manager) find reason to complain even when I do things to benefit them]).
I wish I had the be all answer to how to get past that feeling but honestly I haven't found it myself.
I think the lesson here is that we're all humans and when it comes to that we all make mistakes.. best advise I can give is to turn it over to God and let it go. [Some folks would not be happy even if you handed them a million dollars they would still find a complaint].
You are a blessing, I've enjoyed listening to you over the years from the weather and traffic updates in the morning, to your late night show, to you in the evenings. You have constantly gave me things to think about... heck I am finally doing my first 5k a month and I partly owe that to your repeated mentions of running!
Thank you for being you.
God Bless,
Matt
I hear ya, Michelle. It's moments like those I have to pick up the Bible and read through some of Jesus' words or another passage and focus on the truth. Because it doesn't matter what they think (or what I think), but what God's opinion... that's what matters.
ReplyDeleteAnd even though my opinion really doesn't matter, I must say that you're one heck of a DJ and I really like your blog. :-)
Trisha Swift